Helicopter Parents and the generation of Stressed out kids who can’t function alone

As a parent, we take all possible courses to warrant affection from our children, but how often do we allow ourselves to be delighted seeing them – trying and failing – like we did when they took their first step. Of course, it’s hard to see them fall, however, in the rigmarole of our parenthood, we’ve forgotten that every other skill in life is developed the similar way.

Well, blame it to the social shift of unreasonable anxiety that followed the era of irrational exuberance in the late 1980s and an increased child endangerment— a perception, that rose with the diminishing prospects of their parents in an economy marked by jobless recovery and rising child poverty; a helicoptered child is easily sheltered, saving the parents from social disgrace and shame.

Though helicoptering as a mean has its perk, and seems to work in giving direction and achieve better grades. However, the long-term implication is vile, as children start – lacking agency, be accountable for their outcomes or take charge of their life –resulting in a generation which is always stressed out and can’t function alone, which is not good at a societal level and engenders a crisis in leadership at a place where adult-style behaviour is crucial for future success.

The generation of helicoptered children first bloomed among the middle-to-upper class parents who were desperate to maintain the status quo and the best way to accomplish this was to price out in a way that seemed meritocratic and education became the key which soon translated into the rise of ‘exorbitant higher education’ – prep classes, expensive extra-curriculars followed by rigid kids schedule and vigilant parenting. Permissive parenting became less appealing as the risks were high.

In situations of such, a society breeds fear. Kids should be able to make their own mistakes growing up. “Life is about having the confidence to get on the right path if you’re walking the wrong way; to get back up when you fall down”.

Well, parents love no doubt and loving by the means of helicoptering is an inadequate defense mechanism against the unyielding future. However, paradoxical as it may sound:

‘Our job as a parent should be to put ourselves out of this job’.

Fake News – Misinformation in the Human Predicament

Well, Jonathan Swift once said – ‘Falsehood flies and the Truth comes limping after it’.

Call it a global phenomenon, false information has always outperformed the truth – penetrating deeper and faster in the social space. One of the greatest examples is the era of ‘Cold war’ and if we got anything more was Fake News – The Soviet had their own version of Fake news and the west had theirs (probably a better curated one).

However, what bothers us more is the dispersal of numerous facades of facts and its uncontrollable plurality – for example, one might claim there are people living on Mars, NASA is hiding facts, while the other might claim, Mars is a dead planet. This freedom of fake news hampers the ruling ideology in the public space. While fake news about business, terrorism, war, entertainment and technology works well – fake news about politics unfailingly does best.

The problem now is to understand the actual lies to what we don’t agree with. While the critics of Fake news claim the idea of ‘no absolute truth’, and truth being relative to circumstances. But the history tells us that we never detail the facts, rather present a construct story; we deal with data selected from a certain perspective and this makes fake news more dangerous, as they rely on true facts.

All our interpretations so far, about history or any subject for that matter is based on facts and honestly, we organize facts in a certain way and that way could either be truthful or lie in a way.

What terrifies me at this moment is the blurred line between the truth and the lie presented to us as a truth which exemplifies our predicament. What lies beneath the fear of fake news is not the search for truth, but to propagate a single obligatory lie, which we know is a lie and adhere to create a streamline hierarchical space.

However, one good thing about Fake news is that it allows us to understand how arbitrary the truth is and makes it clear that the social space is not affable to the government and fake news are too provocative not to succeed.

Man Is Dead in The Bourgeoisie Because We Killed God

As Notre Dame burned, my eyes were glued to Paris. It was devastating to watch an 850-year-old gothic structure succumb to fire. Though it was clear that the complication was due to a spark – the building’s age and the timber used in the making, aided the severity. Nonetheless, it was heart-wrenching to see the iconic structure burn as a matchstick – a clear reminder of the forces that leave us helpless to save something we dear.

With memories dusted to ashes, and people getting nostalgic over Paris – there were cynics and contrarians taunting the grievers – reminding everyone that the church has been just a structure of bricks and mortar, still none could levee the mournful tide.


Much to our delight, within hours of the spire coming down, two of the richest men in the world François-Henri Pinault and Bernard Arnault, pledged to donate € 300 million, in addition to other millions and billions of funds pumped through crowdfunding campaigns by the commoners.

However, the most overlooked part of the discussion is the money that is pumped in a place where the church can pay for themselves. The Economist tells us that the yearly budget of Vatican in the US alone is more than $140 billion. Well, I don’t despise the fact that the bourgeoisie is generous, but the magnitude of their response reflects something very important about the society we live in.


If two men, collectively, can offer funds more than most country’s GDP, within 6 hours, how easily can we food and shelter every human on earth. Take for example, the residents of Grenfell Tower in France are still living in temporary accommodation for the last 2 years. Imagine, if Glenfell had beautifully tainted glass windows with Gothic structure, instead of human beings.

A nation is made by the people living in it. Every work of art, architecture, commerce and beauty rely on the ingenuity of people. And the failure of a nation stem from the failure to recognize that life matters and should be protected above all else.


So, when someone asks you to make a choice, between a hospital and a highway, tax cut or pay – one must remember this moment that money is at a click, and we are far away from it.

Does Free will Exist or Is Everything Predetermined

Honestly, I don’t know, in fact, nobody knows, which of our actions are free. I eat because I’m hungry, something is compelling me to eat, which is hunger and this analogy is visible in every aspect of life.

Well, when your love-life sucks, philosophy provides solace and this time it opened my eyes to the illusion of freedom because we’re blind by the force and the law that manages us and we fool ourselves every day, thinking we’re the boss. This gap in our perception is what we call Free Will.

Sounds disappointing, right?

Nevertheless, to discover where our freedom lies, we need to look at life below ours, to catch the factors at work. And broadly speaking, there are four factors:

1     First Matter: Let’s take the example of a seed, a seed sown, decomposes and disappears, while all its genetic information gets transferred to the plant, which becomes the primary cause of everything that follows. Likewise, a drop of SEMEN contains the collective data of our ancestors, including physical and mental qualities we feel as our own. They’re installed in us at birth and we can’t choose or change them in any form.

       Cause and effect from itself: Now say the seed we’ve sown is peach, but a peach never becomes an apple nor a squash, it remains a Peach. However, the only change that can happen is in the quality or in quantity. Geneticists tell us that “there’s a gene in us for everything, even what we consider our deepest personal wishes. The inner system we think of as our ‘I’ is a fixed set of qualities controlled by a program that switches them either to the positive or the negative, with us having no direct influence”.

        Inner Cause and effect: The third aspect work directly on the essence and the programming of the seed for better or for worse – e.g. sunlight, rain, minerals etc. Lack of any of it won’t sustain the plant. Similarly, our inherited programs, thoughts and desires will either develop positively or negatively depending on our family, which we don’t choose and the way they bring us up and how we’re educated. Well, obviously we are helpless as children and all of what we’re is done by them— the constant interaction with their characters, ideas and values. So, whatever we’ll be is the result of either agreeing with or reacting against them and we cannot change the laws that transform our essence or how they do that.

        Cause and Effect through Alien Forces: Taking the example of the peach plant again, this factor is a little different than the rest and, unlike rain and minerals they don’t have any direct connection with the peach. These forces come as hail, storm or passing animals and they influence all other three factors as a whole.

Now, the plant cannot get up and move, but for us, regardless of the fact that we don’t determine any of the first three factors in our development – we can influence all of them only by choosing our surroundings and is our single point of freedom in the physical world and it’s from this point we can harness these laws to catapult us in the path of our goal. Under right environment, all of these laws come into play, which then shapes all of our future conditions. So, it is advised to always choose the right books, right friends and the right teacher.

For The Foodholics

Sundays are meant to do nothing, however, the sinful gut needs its fuel. So it all began with Nizam's at Connaught Place, the Sunday brunch was certainly Nawabi. Though it was tough to choose among the long list the restaurant had to offer, I settled on the most popular Mutton Biryani.

Well, I have had a lot many varieties of Biryanis in my life across the nation, however, Nizam's, to be frank, has a different flavour unique to itself, and on top of that, it wasn't as spicy as most Biryanis we find are.

Located at the H-block of the inner circle of Connaught Place, the restaurant was an evident to the fact that ‘Hunger unites people'— I could find foodies from across the world joined to be a part of their kitchen, and trust me, the food was something to express ‘awe' for.

After the food, I believe, nobody should forget to plunge into the ‘Sinful Dessert' their menu hosts. And this time, I choose Makhmali Malai Rabri and it was supremely delish. 

Get a look at it, isn't it mouth-watering?

Alright, today it's official – Mr Fancy Pants is foodaholic. Well, Delhi Street food festival was on my mind and after the Biryani session, I straight away headed to the very popular commonwealth games venue Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium. 

Though the event ran for three days, 13th of December was the last day of the fest and along with it came most of the crowd. Though the food was a bit pricey, nonetheless, trying different delicacies from various parts of India once a while calls for a price to pay, however, the food was worth. 

Though Food fest showcased the food from almost all the parts of India; however, the footfall of most states were missing, but the ones present were inviting. 

Have a look at a couple of stalls and what they had to offer.

Well, no street food is complete with the Omelette, yes eggs are promising and the street food fest was evident. 

These were couple of food I laid my hands on, though spicy, but it was worth trying

Bhetki fish with rice and onion (from Kolkata)

Pot Chicken cooked ‘without oil' for all the health freaks(From Telangana)

Baby Boomers Rule – Again

We apparently are in a misconception that the Millennials are the new consumers and forgetting the fact that the ‘Baby Boomers’ hold the keys to every ‘locks and safes’ of the world and run the show. The generation that brought the pop culture and made the first consumer generation is heading into retirement. Time to wake-up folks and cheer up the baby boomers and their invigorated spending power that reshaped Texas to Sin-City and Bangalore to Silicon-Valley.

However, going by our Hindu-Shastra (which clearly needs a moderator), a man at 60 is expected to retire and renounce. But isn’t it a more passive way of spending their ‘senior’ years, after all, why should one hustle while young, and not enjoy the old.

Well, Matt Thornhill, president of Generations Matter, a think tank in Richmond, Virginia says “Boomers are the first generation on the planet to get to age 60 and still see a long runway ahead,”

Perhaps, the strongest validation of the Baby Boomer Renaissance is the 2011 film The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel and approves the fact that – 50 is the new 30 and why not so. This generation (baby boomers) has been more active and more involved in ‘‘shaping’’ the world than the Snowflake generation.

With an annual spending power of $7.1 trillion— one must not take the segment for granted, which is estimated to hit 13.5 trillion dollars by 2032 and consider it as an opportunity, than a liability.

No Shrinking Violets – Baby boomers Rock

We’re no longer looking for the youth as role models, many seniors have become leaders already and some of them started after retiring. Take the example of our Faujah Singh, who became the oldest marathon runner at 101. Well, I ain’t advocating every senior to buckle up and start running, but staying active is a good way to live.

There’s always a space to start in a big way, even with potentially dwindling family circle – kids are grown up (hopefully), grand babies moved abroad (thankfully). It’s lonely in suburbia, nonetheless, the cityscape is open to diverse peer groups and communities, making it more interesting and pleasant, allowing a lot of opportunities to ditch retirement.

The Tragedy of Birth

Mr. Raphael Samuel’s decision to sue his parents for conceiving him without consent has garnered him all the attention he wanted and made me think, ‘when is a baby actually conceived’ – is it the time when our father casts his evil gleam on our mother or do we take a more scientific approach and stick to biology. Though the former sounds creepy and makes us a product of our father’s misconduct, sticking to biology is more rationale.

Well, this could be a stunt for 15-minute of fame, however, Mr. Samuel’s argument stems from the fact that any new human life will inevitably involve pain and suffering, while pleasure (although good) is irrelevant to those who do not or have not existed in the first place – this philosophical movement is termed as ‘anti-natalism’.

Though the believers of anti-natalism are in the minority, however, edging into the mainstream won’t take much time. Popularized by Matthew McConaughey character, Rust Cohle in True Detective, where he believed, ‘human consciousness was a tragic misstep in evolution. Life is bad, so is death and together they constitute an existential vice’.

In a country, where parents mollycoddles, kids turning up suing their parents can come as a surprise. Though the lawsuit drama could just be a click-bait, nevertheless it gives a clear idea of the understanding of new millennial and I say, it’s not bad at all, but suing won’t do any favour.

Though his thoughts are way ahead of time, it’s always glad to come across people who think differently and are brave enough to step out and speak about it in a society tied up in its accord. Anti-natalist or natalist, joke or no joke – people are suffering and we can’t un-see it with any sort of spiritual veil and bulls**t and bringing in a child for the sake of our continuity is both selfishness and the irony of our existence.

The Confession of a Tinderella and a desperate Grindrella

As the overrated weekend came to an end, my confession reckons with Rosy Edwards – the Millennials search for THE SPECIAL ONE by lowering the standard and finding love, one right swipe at a time.
 Though it’s ok to be open to both the genders and with the technology guiding us through the ‘SWAMVAR’ process easily, the question of being coy is out. Moreover, sleeping diagonally in the bed when you see happy couples around, hurts. Thus, finding a date on Tinder or a mate on Grindr seems meaningful in a much meaningless life we lead in this rat race.
Well, honestly speaking, girls are always delightful, probably, because of the fact that they amuse the 'not so man' side of a man and their ulterior motive to settle down and an occasional sneak-peek into their naked anatomy, becomes a source of curiosity for the penis bearer.

However, no Romeo and Juliet are born in real life and most, after few courtships end up saying ‘sayonara’ to become an old chapter in each other’s memory. To undo pain, no strings attached or one-night stands come handy. Well, blame it to Shakespeare or our poor, overdramatic Bollywood scripts – love is never about the romance we understand and the agony of Tinderella continues…

Having said that, the much curious man has several opportunities and with 377 being revoked, one can seek refuge in the desperate crowd of testosterone.  Well for beginners, the platform seems a safe haven and a few lucky ones end up tying knot. However, not everyone can have a similar fate, delving deep into it, one can come across the not much talked about complications of the society. Nevertheless, the desperate Grindrellas are comfortably share ‘unsolicited pics’ for fun, enjoyment and dates and probably it’s the only way for them to be accepted in this broken world, among people who are equally broken and discontented. Love is never about hunting for THE ONE and the agony of the desperate Grindrella continues….

This reminds me of the most popular Quote by Mirza Ghalib:
‘Dard jab dil mein ho, toh dawa keejiye, Dil hi jab dard ho toh kya keejiye’

The Dichotomy between soaring desire and low ambition

Today, while performing my daily browsing ritual, I came across an article on the ever-increasing desire and the waning ambition, the millennial’s hate for Mondays and their effort of ‘finding themselves’ in the abyss.

With every brand targeting the millennial and the Facebook’s insatiable urge to follow us to the grave – the new consumer generation, find things overwhelming. While being ambitious is branded gluttony, the market never leaves a stone unturned to entice us into buying more without keeping a constant flow of purchasing power.

Now if we follow the social demand of keeping the desires alive without ambition— we might just end up squabbling over the same piece of meat like little hungry dogs and at the end no one is content. We cannot stoop to this level, can we? After all, we’re humans.

Well, the market and the government will do what it has to do, to maintain the rigmarole of its existence. We can’t change it; however, efforts can be made to change ourselves. I'm neither asking anyone to stop desiring nor am I advocating high ambition.

I can only say what few Zen masters have said before:

Do not desire too much, not to desire to stop desiring.

Let’s be pragmatic, we all can’t be ambitious together, nevertheless we can do our best to what we do (even on Mondays) and let the effort pave our course. Let not everyone be a creator, we need more people to sustain the creation. The world now, needs less heroes and more humans.

Humans need less – they’re ‘Minimalist’. Minimalism isn’t a fad, it’s a way of living, living with what you need, not what you want. It’s not shunning desire, it’s living with it and having a check on it. Every desire can never be fulfilled, or we would’ve had ‘fishes on trees’.

Minimalism doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with owning material. The problem is the meaning we assign to stuffs we own. We end up giving more meaning to our things than health, relationship, passion, etc. If you dream of owning a car, go buy it, see if it’s important to you. If you want to own a house, go own it. Minimalism simply helps you to make decision consciously, but not deliberately because ‘Sharma ji k bete neh kharid liya, to mujhe bhi lena hai’.

Minimalism is a tool to identify what’s important in your life and focus on it, as we all know— a man with less, sleeps well.

Yugen – Creativity and the feeling

Well, this is a topic most people won’t like it and might come as a devil to most of the teachers. We know all our universities and schools are trying to teach creativity through workshops and creative programs and it’s a big thing these days.

However, the trouble is, if we found out a method to teach creativity and everybody could just know the formula for creating a beautiful object, it would no longer be of interest. What always is an essential element of creativity is the ‘Mysterious’.

It’s when Yugen comes into play, Yugen – a Japanese word comprising of two kanji characters meaning ‘mysterious’ and ‘deep’ roughly translates into – ‘an awareness of the universe that triggers emotional responses too deep and mysterious for the words’.

There’s a Japanese Haiku poem that says:

“When the bird calls, the mountain becomes more mysterious”

With this kind of poem you see, you get a feeling, which might mean nothing, but that nothing is everything. Creativity is that experience when the thought wanders into that nothingness (void) and this is Yugen.    

Yugen is the sensation of life that keeps you going, without the thought of a specific destination. It’s when the space is used to keep your imagination flowing into it without being specific. Creativity is an experienced and cannot be learnt.

To further elaborate, lets talk about humour, a joke as we know is funny as it hints at something, but you never explain to yourself why you laughed, because that will spoil the joke. In the same way, there is this mystery, which is never defined, and which you understand and see the beauty, just as the humour of the joke. Thus, there is no philosophy of humour nor any for creativity and discussing more about it is futile.

Seek a meaningful life not a happy one

We all want to be happy, but most of us have no idea what to do. 

Should we make more money? 

Should we focus on pursuing our passions?

Should we give up all our material possessions and become a monk in the mountains?

Well, we all have a different take on it and there are times when nothing seems to work. 

Having said that, let me introduce you to the concept of ‘ikigai’, few identify it with the Japanese formula of happiness, but I say, it helps you lead a more meaningful life. Well, let’s be honest, happiness has no exclusive rights of the path to heaven.

Ikigai roughly translates into ‘a reason for being’, you need to have a purpose of living. Though it sounds easier than done, when you know nothing is under your control. However, there are four components you need to check to achieve ‘ikigai’. 

1) Find something you love:  

Find things that make you feel good, that makes us stop thinking for a short period of time, few call it the ‘Flow State’.  This could be drawing, singing, reading, etc. – that takes you to the state of bliss where you feel focused. The same happens when you fall in love with someone because being with that person allows us to forget all the other problems at least momentarily.

2) Find something that the world needs:

We humans are hardwired to feel good when we know we are needed. Back in the day when we were hunters, it was easy, as everybody played an important part—the hunter was as important as the cleaner, and one could easily gauge the effect of one on the other. However, nowadays, most people work in corporations – being given small roles in massive companies, where even if we work our butts off, it’s hard to see the positive outcome, it doesn’t look we’ve accomplished anything and even if we quit, no one will really care. You need to find something that creates a positive impact around you and that’s the second component of ikigai.

3) Find something that you get paid well for:

Let’s be real– ‘You need money’ – money to put a roof over your head, food in your mouth and clothes in your body. Without enough of it, you’ll spend most of your life worrying and stressed. It is crucial to earn not just some money, but a good enough to live a comfortable life. You need to live without stress and achieve financial independence, which is the third component of ikigai.

4) Find something that you’re good at:

This doesn’t mean you’ve got to be born with talent – it means you’ll have put in time and effort in order to get better at the skill. We often face difficulty in the beginning when we take the first step; however, practice is the key, which lets you overcome the hurdle, and this makes it the fourth component of ikigai.

The Venn diagram below gives a better picture of what ikigai is and how to strike a balance between Passion, Mission, Profession and Vocation.