An Unusual Tale of Love & Sexuality!

With the countries heating-up their weapons, let's take a break from it and get into something unusual. We all have heard of different love stories, some had a tragic end and some came with a happy ending. Most stories talk about the heterosexual love affair, few spoke about two men falling in love and some about the love between two women.

Well, this story is nothing unusual, it’s about a man and a woman, but here’s the catch the love is between a gay man and a lesbian woman, and on top of that, they aren’t bisexual. Yes, you read that correctly!

Now the food for thought to strike anybody’s mind would be on how they would make love. Or what will be the point of continuing a relation when the physical intimacy perhaps would be negligible, or it’s just platonic which we often find in books written by authors long gone.

What if I say it’s neither platonic nor do they not have any physical intimacy. A gay man and lesbian woman making out, would be a sight for sore eyes, isn’t it? Perhaps for few!

Though the term love is complicated and no man has ever come up with a clear definition. Nevertheless, a question often lurks my mind— what are the parameters to fall in love?

These lovers have definitely come up with something to hold them together. Well, keeping their bedroom door closed, the next need to any human is the emotion. ‘An orgasm may last for few seconds but an emotion for a lifetime’. This couple knows how to create the need for each other. The more you crave, the more you love. A little insecurity isn’t harmful, yet the relation has nothing to do with any parameters set by the society we live in.  They walk with each other not following one another.

 Love is growing together as a person. It never demeans each other. Love is never perfect, it’s being happy with the flaws. These lovers have found the niche in their relation when will the rest do?

Note: This is not a love story of a gay man and a lesbian woman, it was created to burst your bubble of sex which often comes into a story and becomes the gossip of any successful relationship. There is more to love than what meets the eye.

A Walk Down the Memory Lane!

She was mesmerizing! Oooh!! The first sight, it took my breath away-- it wasn't anticipated, vibrant eyes, she was all full of glory, beautiful as a woman should be; she cohered well with the moment. She had all the qualities of a woman; she was complete in her conviction. She had no desire, she was accomplished, yet a subtle indecisiveness hurled at the back of her mind.

Nevertheless, she excelled in her hospitality. She knew what it was all about, the eyes spoke the tale of the known, but the search went for the unknown. And Bingo! I loved that, she displayed an array of emotion; a little prejudiced at times, yet something you wouldn’t say so harmful. She narrated the tale of her life; I gave all my ears, yet being a little skeptical. Anyways it wasn’t harming me—she was an individual of varied identity. 

There was a little hesitation in the beginning, yet the sweetness prevailed, a little judgmental, but that’s alright, after all she’s a human, couldn’t expect a superwoman.

However, under all these, there was a certain uncanny affection, and yes, this experience was certainly new and ding-ding there rings the bell. She spoke sense— bundle of emotion with a couple of tragic and forbidden past. It was like she was on a constant rage of war with self and the people around, trying to hide around the four corner of her cosy low-light room. 

Her tale was attention-grabbing and in complete silence, I listened (someone with ADD, pun intended, listening becomes a task uncalled for). She was definitely one among the untamed lot as if she was living in her past addiction. 

Little did she open her heart, she spoke about everything on earth, and especially the topics I was interested. I could realise, she lived a hundred lives and travelled through time and I was just the next station she was trying to take a halt. Do I need to reopen the station, or keep it barren? Or let her decide the course of action. Sssshhhh! Silence, she went into a deep trance of her narration. And I fathomed deep into her eyes 

I guess, I have fallen for the eyes… Oops ! My bad.. Going back to the memory lane..

The New Paradigm Shift

Lately, self-introspection made me realised how tough could it be to know oneself, there are umpteen ways we associate ourselves to circumstances around, it seems we hold on to one and follow, perhaps until we die, at times, the charm fades, what is left behind is nothing more than an unfinished or unfulfilled dream leaving one either happy or unhappy as per their discretion.

Now when I question my own believe through the anticipation I hold towards my karma. An inner indecisiveness always haunts.  Who am I and what I ought to be?

It seems what we are, isn’t only the counter-reaction of what we want to be, there are other factors involved to define the course. What is it? What is it that keeps a check on our activity? Are we a mere puppet? If we are, then the observer is undoubtedly playing a big game and getting amused at the same time.

People talk a lot about the ‘laws of attraction’. Well, we all somehow believe in it and to some extent it works, moreover our religious text endorses it too (can’t deny that). However, if we delve deep into it and try relating our activities and our outcomes with the circumstances around, a ‘void’ exists which demurs the truth of the text. 

There is nothing we can say— ‘I did’ or ‘it’s mine’ or ‘I own it’. The ‘void’ dissolves the ‘I’ and the ownership vanishes and at the end what you do is not for you, it is for the ecosystem around you. And if we are still looking after counting on your deeds, sorry you are just getting wasted.

How far will you go to Win?

Fighting through the tides to reach the destination I know not. The sea seems to be relentless. The compass directs nowhere, is it the right way? Confusion never stops; I stopped, looked back, oh! I have come a long way, the way I never choose to discover.

Do I go back, but where do I go? I grinned, to see no trace of land. The waves ruthlessly curved my way, but I am alive, alive just to witness more of it. The struggle seems worth.

The sense of dying along with the urge to survive sparks up life process. We grow, procreate and become obsolete; we lose at the end, but who gives up. Someone wise once said that—“Something that doesn’t kill you make you stronger”.

The stronger we are, the immortal we get, and the only way to get stronger is to put oneself to the unfavorable condition. We try and create favorable atmosphere and then sing the glory of immortality—that’s convenience.

Star shines bright when burnt within, only to realize

it’s immortal at the end and merges into the space where everything exists with no dimension of time and space, and that’s where you lie.

The Unusual Tale Of Unhappiness!

Happiness has always been overrated; why not try knowing about unhappiness today; inspired from few who choose to live unhappily and are yet happy. The definition of happiness is what I don’t quite understand.

Driving through the highway of happiness— found nothing more than a sinister glare. I fell into the predicament of the choices made; the path had nothing new to offer than the known. I went berserk with what I knew will always show up.  Surprises vanished; the path always had what I anticipated for.

This followed with introspection— am I driving the right highway? Can’t the path be anymore monotone? There was nothing more to look forward to. Awww!! What a dreadful thought. Never realised happiness could mean this.

On one side of the mundane happiness— we fight, we mutilate, we incinerate and on the other we look for more of it. The struggle to be happy drives us more to be unhappy.  This questions our understanding of being happy and drives me to do the undone.

Someone wise once said— ‘to leave the good that I had in hand, In hope of better that was uncouth’.

The worlds we create out of our own imagination take a new toll while looking through the uncouth. Here what we see is what we never have and that’s where the journey begins.

The promises we make, the ideas we behold fades with time. There is nothing to anticipate, and what comes the way is what you live for. The mystery is endless and the path has nothing more than what lies at the moment. It seems you become the Maya to play with the Maya.

Hold on!! That’s not it. Life has much more than what meets the eyes.

Why not choose to be unhappy for once, and begin our journey, all the trouble might take a different turn. You never know.

Cheers!!

The Ride

The obsession of freedom drove me away from all

I have nothing to cling on

The freedom I longed for bared my soul

I have nothing to offer nor anything to hold on to

No safety you demand for

Just the freedom to my will

That's all I have.

Gone Wild!!

I am a sinner, not so popular,

A sinner who tries living multiple lives,

Never owned a moral compass that defined self or,

A fixed personality to adhere.

An inner indecisiveness always rules

To be all, an identity I try to hold,

Push me into trouble.

Was that me? Who else can I be,

Or am I the rider gone wild who has nothing to gain, nothing to lose,

Nothing except to glorify every experience as a piece of art.

Innocence of Mountains!

Tall, majestically it stands, nothing to dither its path;

Home to many unknown, lavish trees, crystal clear spring,

Adds to its magnificence.

Untouched is its innocence, like a child playful, like a thunder powerful.

Let's not inject it with the pretense we adhere to.

Let the mountains be innocent.

Let the souls it nurture be its ally.

Let's not help them with our wants

Let the mountains be innocent.

The Fallacy of Misplaced Concreteness !

What if we discover that we were totally wrong about everything and we probably were, thus it takes courage to be in the quest of 'what is'.

Then comes our preconception of what reality is or supposed to be. Evidently, the question rushes in our conscious mind of who we are, how we are supposed to live, whom we are supposed to hang out with, what are we supposed to accomplish in life, or what gender are we meant to be.

It is important to realize how we have been living in a matrix controlled by forces consciously/unconsciously, we have no idea about. Who we really are, what are our potential, what we have to offer or what life can offer us? The mind floods the brain with uncertainties.We all try to be free and know our real self. However, before we try knowing, it becomes important to surrender the false self or come to terms with it and that's where the complexity lies.

The real self is very simple, there is nothing to know. In fact, you have got to forget everything known and delve into the unknown to know it.

For that matter, the religious text has nothing to offer, and it makes no sense reading books and learning about other people's ideas when we are already filled with so much of our own. If you read books, read it in a 'class situation' where any misconception grown out of the interpretation of what you read and what the author has put in gets straightened out.

My words will never propagate any idea, it might help you let go of the already existing ideas so as to have an experience of the self when you are completely out of ideas.

Before you ever had any idea, 'silence of the self' was what prevailed and that's all we strive.

Let me be Selfish!

With the world running through the wave of self-empowerment, where freedom, love, and gratitude are the keys to the existence, how far can we go being selfish? The society for that matter believes in a more pragmatic approach towards helping self with the motive of helping others, encouraging one to multitask, and that's where we all trip.

It might sound contradicting when on one hand we propagate on 'being self' and on the other 'being selfish' becomes derogatory. Such a commotion indeed! we are often left to choose when nothing needs to be chosen. We give when we have nothing, we teach when we know nothing. The strategy we incorporate to exist in harmony creates discord. Apparently, it's more of the war we wage with ourselves than with anybody else.

This is when selfishness becomes crucial, people now are trying to give more than what they have. We give love, advice when we ourselves aren't filled up with, and in the end left with nothing. What we had given, we never truly had for ourselves and the cycle of depression, hatred, self-dislike, pain sets in. Well, it is more of a self-inflicting pain the world's into than what is.

The world might quote me the blasphemer, however being selfish is the new selfless, selflessly loving one has become more important than the self-inflicting nuisance. This reminds me of someone once said-- “Only a cup filled with water can overflow fullness”.

Peace !!

Being Mr. Nobody-- The Beginner's mind!

Someone wise once said-- 'the search for self-realization is powered by our anxiety, our fears that feeds our ego causing frustration in our daily life'. Never realizing what it meant, gave a food for thought to analyze what the society's paradigm of 'self-realization' is.

When the mind is left alone, one can witness its vastness. Every individual find different means and methods to begin their search with certain parameters in mind as per norms, the parameter of what is known hitherto and what can be anticipated set by the society.

Now when the religious texts and scholars blow their trumpet of self-realization, often perplexed, the mind tries to find where it all began; tracing the search back in time; trying to find the beginner's mind becomes crucial, the original mind that beholds everything in itself-- it is always rich, ever sufficient, it is not a closed mind but an ever empty mind. This is where the possibility of being dual fades and is rendered with its oneness.

When the mind demands or creates a self-centered overview, it limits itself, however, when redeemed with no thoughts of self or any achievements the 'true beginners' begin their journey. Consequently, the true wisdom knocks the door.

The beginner's mind is always compassionate and boundless. The boundless mind is open to all learning. Eventually, the need for any religious texts or manual of conducts cease to exist and become redundant.

'In a beginner's mind there are many possibilities, in an expert mind there are few'. Who wants to be an expert when there is always something new to be known, being the unknown, being Mr. Nobody.

Let it be my way!

Tried adhering to the norms that define existence-- With a common notion of one being born wild, the society passes a bill of self-improvement on all. 

The game starts when the child barely learns to engage with the words spoken. Do this, do that-- Is this what you define what it should be? the charade carries on with the promise of rewards and honours, followed by the experience of the heaven only money can buy, juxtaposed with it, is the innocence of the child who doesn't care what the play is. He is muddled in his own existence, and there comes all to his rescue, to define the purpose, often which made little or no sense. 

The child is then compelled to learn to label, grade, and judge everything on his way. He is lost somewhere deep in the formula of being a gentleman from the savage. The idea of the self, flips over the context of self-improvement, without knowing that we can't do anything to get better than what we are. 

This might come to you as a relief; however the biggest irony would be -- we involve ourself in the process of self-improvement to make earth a better place to live, and be in service to people in need, creating more chaos than ever existed--dreadful ideas indeed!

The only way to realise the journey to self and improving the world is to know,

it is so. It is 'what is'. Being an observer helps, watch what happens, watch what you do. Your own nature will start taking care of itself because you are not obstructing its course. And one must not forget that the best creation always comes from a crazy mind.

Dweller on the Threshold !!

At a point when you realise, you depict all the persona in the parable you come across in the everyday experience, the term 'infinite self' draws attention. Finding self in the midst of infinite possibility, appears challenging when you know it leads nowhere.

There could be the bombardment of doubts from all forces at play.The doubt of who I am, the doubt of the purpose of being.

That's when the quest of finding answers begin-- through different roleplays-- the role of a father, a mother, a friend, a lover, a teacher, a protector,(the list could be endless) each role tries to achieve the zenith of perfection where the experience of heaven could be made. Never realising what heaven is, what are we running after-- 'being perfect in every instance', Is this the definition of heaven? If so, then achieving it is like -- dragging one to hell. Where there is nothing more to experience nor any wisdom to earn or to preach
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The soul-purpose of duality of  good and bad, day and night rest here. Every sunny day is the result of a stormy night, and every rainy day precedes the beautiful moonlit night. The cycle seems endless and is the cognition of reasoning.

Like a magnet where the two poles can never fall apart, the duality in life is what keeps it moving and where every moment  counts. Being just a spectator and flowing with the course helps, because the moment you become the monkey to help the fish from drowning-- the good becomes the evil and you are engulfed into the never-ending charade of the cycle of events that follow.