How to be okay with being alone

Top rules for being alone and being happy about it

1) Understand 'You' are all that you need

In the world of extroverts, ones friends' network and their skills to handle themselves in a crowd are appreciated much, nevertheless, it's not the only goal we strive for at the end of the day. Being an extrovert and not enjoying the company of self won't bring in much happiness. One must always enjoy the 'me time', however with social media hijacking our life introspection or knowing oneself has made an exit. Thence when you are alone, remind yourself that you choose to be alone.

 2) Value others but 'You' come first.

Value what others say, but most importantly value yourself. Know what you need, and seek your own advice. When we trust our problem-solving skills we become much stronger and more confident. You can take challenges which you felt incapable of doing before.

3) Be a good listener

Listening works wonder, it helps know the person you are interacting with, creates a better bond and also acts as a magic potion to deal with your anxiety if you are battling the same. A good listener can always be a good friend one can look up to.

4) Appreciate the silence in darkness

Life is busy, there are times we need to step back and relax. Close your eyes and enjoy the silence the darkness beholds. It gives the true purpose of your life and helps you make better judgments as nothing exist at that point to distract you. Meditation helps too.

5) Talk to 'You'

Remember, You are your own bff, don't forget to talk to 'you'. Holding a conversation with self is not a sign of insanity but it is always the best way to hear your inner voice. It is easy to silence the voice with the noise around, it is required to invoke the inner voice as helps you be kind to yourself.

6) Rearrange your upholstery

We often fall prey to patterns, however, if the patterns are regular, it is boring.  It's a common human psychology to resist meaningful change.
Keeping this in mind let's start with meaningless change, e.g. Changing the direction of your furniture or anything for that matter. It gives us a new perspective and a pauses the mundane.

7) Create, recreate, Create

As a child we all had hobbies, never get rid of it. Recreate your childhood, create what you love, do it all by yourself. If you want to be happy never stick your happiness with people around you, stick it with what you love doing, make use of your lone time it helps.

😎 Travel alone

Be your own travel buddy, for once try looking the world through your eyes. It's always a better place to live in. Go watch a movie alone, or probably go for shopping. Do the wildest thing you thought of, alone, life is too short to regret about things not done. Never let anybody's words direct you.

9) Volunteer for a good cause

It is always nice to contribute something good to the world. Being alone and happy does not mean you subtract yourself from the rest. It means you surround yourself with people but your happiness does not depend on them. It's your time, make good use of it.

Painter's Paradox

The Painter's Paradox

You know it isn't  true,
The lies you held against him all through.
In the heap of lies his heart rests,
Thank you, for the beautiful mess.

A blank canvas was he, fascinated with colours
Unfamiliar with how messy colours can be.
You painted his life with the chaos of conflict,
Flabbergasted on the misery you can inflict.

But his love for colours never faded;
Peel it off or paint it red, he pleaded.
Life is beautiful with Red, green and blue
Believe in happiness, coz it is true.

Strangers In The Night

We were strangers all together
It was desires that crippled the moment;
Little annoyed and sceptical in the beginning,
Nevertheless, she was gentle in her pursuit
As if she was in an ordeal to complete a task assigned
Or was in a search for something she lost long back.

I avoided comprehending her activity, as I was pursuing my wildest dream.
November morning it was,
Her big bright eyes impaled me with excitement.
She showered her umpteen love and I reciprocated
Whatever our intentions were, the meeting was conspired long back
The day passed by,
Holding  each other, loving each other, loosing each other
Upon each other.

It was the moment when time came to a halt;
It was when nothing else in the world was worth knowing;
It was euphoric enough to make me dance in her tune forever.
She felt like a dream, a dream I dreamt long back had come true.
Everything seemed  jinxed and worked for both of us.

Wow!!

However, nothing lasts for ever, the spell broke one day
The stars fell apart, the dreams were shattered.
Every bright day brings a dark night, we exchanged glances no longer.
The time plays a different ball game every moment and
It doesn't matter who was wrong and who was right
Because at the end we are again strangers in the night.

Does It Matter?

It fuels with the dream -- the dream of being happy, the dream of being successful, the dream of finding the best mate who would be with you forever. Everyone has their own means of finding it in the humdrum of the urban life.

Then there follows the Utopians, with their fixed set of conduct that tries to rule the dream of the dreamers, cajoling their minds with the threats of the unseen saying ‘It’s dark out there’, invigorating fear of what they might lose once they leave and not be able to see their loved ones again.

Oftentimes, my mind convenes at a point where I try to comprehend the sole intent of what the conduct is. I agree at some point, it is required to maintain the entropy of the system or chaos is inevitable; nonetheless isn’t the system already chaotic behind the curtains under the veils of conduct?

The monotonous plays are performed each day, even the external stimulus backs out, saying ‘I can work no more’ making us crave more of it thinking someday the play would be more interesting, and the search of true feeling or passion is lost somewhere in the search outside.

Evidently, even science believe everything is backed by laws,  Newton's law of relativity, laws of thermodynamics etc etc. governs the universe. However, there are times, out of nowhere from the dark matter, comes the law breakers.  For instance, ‘Maxwell demon’  is a very good example of how it violates the law 2nd law of thermodynamics, and in fact if we delve deep into the subject matter we will find how important ‘Maxwell demon’ is in the entire process of thermodynamic reaction.

It’s ironic how convenient are we in tagging the ‘different’ as ‘demon’. We must know that  there is ‘Maxwell Demon’ in each of us and it is wise and crucial at this hour if we see what we need inside rather than hunting for it outside.

It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles against other.

An Unusual Tale of Love & Sexuality!

With the countries heating-up their weapons, let's take a break from it and get into something unusual. We all have heard of different love stories, some had a tragic end and some came with a happy ending. Most stories talk about the heterosexual love affair, few spoke about two men falling in love and some about the love between two women.

Well, this story is nothing unusual, it’s about a man and a woman, but here’s the catch the love is between a gay man and a lesbian woman, and on top of that, they aren’t bisexual. Yes, you read that correctly!

Now the food for thought to strike anybody’s mind would be on how they would make love. Or what will be the point of continuing a relation when the physical intimacy perhaps would be negligible, or it’s just platonic which we often find in books written by authors long gone.

What if I say it’s neither platonic nor do they not have any physical intimacy. A gay man and lesbian woman making out, would be a sight for sore eyes, isn’t it? Perhaps for few!

Though the term love is complicated and no man has ever come up with a clear definition. Nevertheless, a question often lurks my mind— what are the parameters to fall in love?

These lovers have definitely come up with something to hold them together. Well, keeping their bedroom door closed, the next need to any human is the emotion. ‘An orgasm may last for few seconds but an emotion for a lifetime’. This couple knows how to create the need for each other. The more you crave, the more you love. A little insecurity isn’t harmful, yet the relation has nothing to do with any parameters set by the society we live in.  They walk with each other not following one another.

 Love is growing together as a person. It never demeans each other. Love is never perfect, it’s being happy with the flaws. These lovers have found the niche in their relation when will the rest do?

Note: This is not a love story of a gay man and a lesbian woman, it was created to burst your bubble of sex which often comes into a story and becomes the gossip of any successful relationship. There is more to love than what meets the eye.

A Walk Down the Memory Lane!

She was mesmerizing! Oooh!! The first sight, it took my breath away-- it wasn't anticipated, vibrant eyes, she was all full of glory, beautiful as a woman should be; she cohered well with the moment. She had all the qualities of a woman; she was complete in her conviction. She had no desire, she was accomplished, yet a subtle indecisiveness hurled at the back of her mind.

Nevertheless, she excelled in her hospitality. She knew what it was all about, the eyes spoke the tale of the known, but the search went for the unknown. And Bingo! I loved that, she displayed an array of emotion; a little prejudiced at times, yet something you wouldn’t say so harmful. She narrated the tale of her life; I gave all my ears, yet being a little skeptical. Anyways it wasn’t harming me—she was an individual of varied identity. 

There was a little hesitation in the beginning, yet the sweetness prevailed, a little judgmental, but that’s alright, after all she’s a human, couldn’t expect a superwoman.

However, under all these, there was a certain uncanny affection, and yes, this experience was certainly new and ding-ding there rings the bell. She spoke sense— bundle of emotion with a couple of tragic and forbidden past. It was like she was on a constant rage of war with self and the people around, trying to hide around the four corner of her cosy low-light room. 

Her tale was attention-grabbing and in complete silence, I listened (someone with ADD, pun intended, listening becomes a task uncalled for). She was definitely one among the untamed lot as if she was living in her past addiction. 

Little did she open her heart, she spoke about everything on earth, and especially the topics I was interested. I could realise, she lived a hundred lives and travelled through time and I was just the next station she was trying to take a halt. Do I need to reopen the station, or keep it barren? Or let her decide the course of action. Sssshhhh! Silence, she went into a deep trance of her narration. And I fathomed deep into her eyes 

I guess, I have fallen for the eyes… Oops ! My bad.. Going back to the memory lane..

The New Paradigm Shift

Lately, self-introspection made me realised how tough could it be to know oneself, there are umpteen ways we associate ourselves to circumstances around, it seems we hold on to one and follow, perhaps until we die, at times, the charm fades, what is left behind is nothing more than an unfinished or unfulfilled dream leaving one either happy or unhappy as per their discretion.

Now when I question my own believe through the anticipation I hold towards my karma. An inner indecisiveness always haunts.  Who am I and what I ought to be?

It seems what we are, isn’t only the counter-reaction of what we want to be, there are other factors involved to define the course. What is it? What is it that keeps a check on our activity? Are we a mere puppet? If we are, then the observer is undoubtedly playing a big game and getting amused at the same time.

People talk a lot about the ‘laws of attraction’. Well, we all somehow believe in it and to some extent it works, moreover our religious text endorses it too (can’t deny that). However, if we delve deep into it and try relating our activities and our outcomes with the circumstances around, a ‘void’ exists which demurs the truth of the text. 

There is nothing we can say— ‘I did’ or ‘it’s mine’ or ‘I own it’. The ‘void’ dissolves the ‘I’ and the ownership vanishes and at the end what you do is not for you, it is for the ecosystem around you. And if we are still looking after counting on your deeds, sorry you are just getting wasted.